A bad time.”I couldn’t help it, I snickered. I was a teenage boy, and that was funny.Taking a deep breath, but not brave enough to meet her eyes, I blurted it out.“I am a freak. I have a huge penis.”There was silence from across the table, and it went on for so long that I snuck a look.Mom wasn’t horrified, she was trying to keep from laughing. She had both hands over her mouth to stifle any sound, but her shoulders were heaving and her eyes were as wide open as I had ever seen, and filled with hilarity.I just put my forehead back on the cold table top again, unwilling to watch.When she finally got herself back under control, several long minutes later, the laughter was still there in her voice, waiting for the slightest thing to set her off again.“Leo, son, can you explain what you mean by that?”“Why not just ask me to whip it out, Mom, right here in the Dairy Queen?” I asked sarcastically, not raising my head.“Don’t sass me, Leo. I asked you a question.”With a deep sigh, I caved,. Women should be saints everywhere except the bedroom, that was his theory on things. Girls like Monica enraged him because he was well aware of their power and so were they. He had wanted what he termed the “better quality” girls but ended up with the looser women. He tolerated them, but they were not interested in the type of games he wanted to play. He was well acquainted with frustration and humiliation and having to eat dirt to get somewhere in life. Women like Monica would have an easy time of it in life; from wealthy, loving parents to a wealthy, loving husband. Houlihan hadn’t had that. His parents didn’t understand the value of a good education, and that was part of the reason why they were poor. Early in life he knew the way out was through school, and from fifth grade on he made nothing but As. Because of his study habits, he rarely dated, and his father assumed he was gay. Houlihan wasn’t, but because of too many trips outside to be paddled (usually for minor infractions).
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